I'm in fifth grade. Michael Jackson and George Michael are forces of nature. Hair is big, and so are socks. Sex is starting to be a topic of discussion, and the very first experiments with alcohol are taking place. The drink of choice? Wine coolers. They could easily have been invented by someone looking to push booze on kids. Fruity flavors, bright colored bottles, two funny guys on the TV talking about them during prime time. What's not for kids to love? Plenty of secret swigs happened out behind the playground wall or in the woods on weekends. Adolescents will be adolescents. But then they all went away. America's notoriously short attention span must have moved on to other forms of alcoholic entertainment, and if I know the national palate, probably to stronger stuff. The friendly guys all but vanished from TV screens and were relegated to smaller and smaller sections of grocery store shelves. Good riddance as far as I'm concerned.
Imagine my shock -- even horror, then -- when I saw the headline this morning: "Wine Cooler Sales up 300% across America."
